mem oirs (mem'warz) 1. an autobiography 2. a record of events based on the writer's personal observation and knowledge

Saturday, July 11, 2009

What to do.

Wish I knew.

I don't. And I'm unsure what to do now. I'm just worn out.

We're going on almost two years now of Allison's extreme anxiety of being separated from me.

Once we're apart and she feels safe with another adult (the school teachers that she's grown to trust) she's fine. But EVERY DAY in MULTIPLE SITUATIONS she gets scared that I'm going to leave her in an unsafe place with unsafe people. I have had her as my shadow constantly asking "mom, what are you doing?" as if I'm planning an escape.

Tonight I feel like I need that escape.

I'm sure tomorrow I'll pick back up with my reassuring, loving, patient cheerleading of "you can do it", "you'll be okay", "I'll never leave you"... but thank God I have about 10 hours of time until she wakes up and needs me again. Cause right now I need a break.

I love this girl SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. But it's HARD being her mom.

1 comment:

Suzanne Holling said...

I love you both sooo much!! Not sure why she is like this, but I know it will pass because you are a VERY trusting mom. God will teach you both through this what Trust really is. Love you!