mem oirs (mem'warz) 1. an autobiography 2. a record of events based on the writer's personal observation and knowledge

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I'm Letting Go

Okay... long post, but a big story!

I've found a new christian artist that I absolutely LOVE-- Francesca Battistelli! I've been groovin' and singin' along to her tunes this week, but really took one to heart today.

It all started when my husband suggested we drive to Steptoe Butte with the family today. I made some grumpy comments at his suggestion... driving to a hill in the middle of nowhere isn't my thing. But, knowing my husband would love it and so would my kids, so we packed a lunch and loaded up the truck.

To keep my spirits up, I popped in my Francesca EP and started really listening to the words of "I'm Letting Go". Check it out for youself, it's a catchy tune!

When we had almost reached the top of the butte, we noticed some guys w/ parachutes preparing to paraglide. No way!?! We were actually going to witness something amazing from the top of this hill in the middle of nowhere! It looked like so much fun, but such a risk, too. Here's some photos:

So... things began to come full circle. The lyrics... the paragliding... a decision I've been contemplating...

How are they connected? Well, first some more about "the decision".

I've been a stay at home mom for 4 years. Recently I've been feeling the pull to get back into the workforce-- mainly to help pay for GAS and groceries. Ugh.

During my "stay at home" time, I've kept myself extremely busy at my church in various children and family ministries (as well as my favorite times singing with the praise band). I've loved serving, and feel that God has called me to work with families at the church and in our community to have safe, fun, faith-based activities together.

So when a new opportunity to lead the mom's group at EBC came up, I pushed the idea aside knowing I was starting a job hunt.

But my heart kept turning toward the group. Could I actually do it? I've never been a leader of a christian study group... and am I a good enough christian and mom to set an example to these other godly women? Do I have the time to put my best effort into the group? Will taking it on be good for my family? It seems it's a clear direction for God's will for me... but is the risk worth it?

Now... back to the paragliding. Sure, there is a serious risk involved in throwing yourself off the top of a rocky hill, but I get the feeling that once those men were airborne their view of the Palouse was even more glorious than when standing on the road at the top of the butte. So was their risk worth it? You bet!

And now the tie-in of the lyrics from her song:

My heart beats, standin' on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge.
Like an acrobat, there's no turning back...

I'm letting go
of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
I'm losing control of my destiny

It feels like I'm falling
and that's what it's like to BELIEVE

So I'm letting go...

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace...

The fear of the unknown, beyond my comfort zone

giving in to YOUR gravity...
knowing YOU are holding me...
I'm not afraid!

Okay God. I'm listening. Those were MY plans of getting a job because I just didn't think we could live without more income... not Your plans. No job opportunities have popped up, but a great chance to further Your kingdom has come up. And I'm going to take it. I'm going to take that leap of faith. And I trust that You're going to catch me!


Ruth Powers said...

Beautiful story... I am excited for you. :)

Wendy said...

I agree with Ruth. You're inspiring.

Shelle and Dan said...

Only God could use music, a beautiful day and parachutes to show you His plans for you. Thank you so much for sharing.

Becky said...

Thanks, Angela. I'm sewing...yes, sewing today and needed some great music. Downloading it right now! Thanks, friend!

Becky said...

And by the way...I know he's got great plans for your family...job or no job! :)

Lisa M. Marquart said...

Let go and let God, eh? What a blessing you are to our community . . . I'm really looking forward to seeing the beauty in store for EBC's Mom's Group with you listening and leading :).
Hugs galore! Lisa

Anita Cory said...

Hi friend...Now you are making me cry! I'm glad God spoke to you in such a cool and amazing way!

Clover said...

Ha! What a fabulous story! I'm gigglng at Shelle's comment about how only God could tie those things together. (Hmmm...Lesse. I've got a song, a sunny afternoon and some parachutes...what to do?)

I'm excited for you!

I'm trying to figure out how to go the other way... (Staying home, not joining the dark underworld or anything like that.)

Anonymous said...

I love that song and your words. You truly have gift that I know God will use in a mighty way.

I have never posted a comment on a blog before so this is my first.

I just wanted to share that I remember being in your same position once before and there is a way to have it both ways. Serve God and get that job.

I'd be happy to share it with you if you want to e-mail me at

Jayne said...

Hello Angela, I'm Becky and Kathy's cousin from Calif. I just want you to know how much the words of that song have touched me and I'm thankful I came over here to read your blog (I was interested in the frame). My plans for my future have changed drastically because my husband (age 44) went to be with the Lord about 2 months ago. I am not scared for the future, because God is faithful...but It is a little uncertain. Anyway, I applaud you for taking the leap of faith...God will provide!!!! I have worked full time for the last 25 years and in the past year I've been a stay at home mom...anyway, just want you to know how this post has blessed me!!! Thank you!!!

Kate said...

You don't know me, but the funny thing is I was about to write a blog about almost the exact same thing! I was searching for the lyrics to this song, and your blog popped up on the search. I quit my job a month ago and have been searching for a new one with no luck. My husband teaches at a university and is trying to get his PhD at the same time, so, needless to say, we don't see a lot of each other. We don't have any kids yet, but someday soon we hope to, if it is God's plan for us.
The funny thing is, I keep searching for a job to support my husband while he is school, and somehow I feel pulled back, as if I am supposed to be at home to support him instead of out there earning money to support our family financially. This is pretty scary as he doesn't make all that much income right now, so we will have to be so careful about what he spends. but you know what? I'm letting go of the life I've planned for me. If I need to be at home to support mu husband by being around and managing the household, then that is what I am supposed to do. God will take care of the rest, and money isn't what it is all about anyway.

Thanks for your entry, sorry about my long saga, but I think God directed me to your story to know that I am not the only one out there worrying about money but choosing to trust in God instead. :-)


Anonymous said...

Just wanted to share my a very hard time in my life...I was blessed with God sending this song to me at the right very timely..and as a result I have come across many of your stories.....many of you have young children and are struggling with your balance...I pray that you will value the time when they are young...I have grown youngest almost 18....however, even now I am "letting go of the life I've planned"...I have a wonderful Christian man in my life..... who supports me in my greatest career crisis, however, there are never easy answers in combining two lives at this point in time...and with that of my youngest daughter....however, I trust God in my "leap of faith".....bless you all as women who really are cognization of what really matters.....